Err merr gerrddd Writers’ HQ is heading to PORTSMOUTH to run arse-kicking writing retreats and whip your wips into shape. Are you excited? WE ARE EXCITED. So why Portsmouth, we hear you ask, when we could have gone somewhere totes literary like Hay-on-Wye or, uh, idk, the place where the Bloomsbury Group hung around drinking tea and fucking? Well we’ll tell you why Portsmouth, yes we will…
1. Lots of places to sit and ponder!
Gaze wistfully out to sea … Ramble pensively along the South Downs … Stare out of the window in one of Southsea’s many charming cafes or channel Henry VIII as you strut around Portsmouth Historic Dockyard and Southsea Castle, bellowing for bacon and sloshing wine all over the place.
2. Events Galore!
3. The High Crime Rate!
Crime fiction – calm down. Not one, not two but three fictional Detective Inspectors moodily roam the streets of Portsmouth – Pauline Rowson’s Andy Horton, Graham Hurley’s Joe Faraday and Pete Adams‘ Jack Austin. All three have their own series of novels set in the city, keeping the streets safe for law-abiding fictional Portsmouth residents.
4. Celebs of Yore!
The list of authors who’ve lived in the UK’s only island city reads like a list of ridiculously famous authors. Rudyard-bloody-Kipling, Charles-fricken-Dickens, HG-motherloving-Wells and Arthur Conan actual Doyle all lived and worked around Elm Grove in Southsea at some point or another. Which just so happens to be the home of …
… the arse-kicking, procrastination-busting, wordcount-smashing, biscuit-dipping, sandwich-demolishing Portsmouth Writers’ Retreat. Come and write your masterpiece with the ghosts of some seriously famous old dudes reading over your shoulder. **MARKETING JAZZ HANDS**