Wow has anyone ever read one of these?

We have to have one of these dealios to explain how we comply with the GDPR (General Data Protection Regulation), the DPA (Data Protection Act) and the PECR (Privacy and Electronic Communications Regulations) because God knows there’s not enough actual interesting things in the world to read, you need to read 1,000 words of legalese nonsense that makes literally not one bit of difference to anyone, ever.

Also we don’t really know what these things are. We’re just two under-heighted writers who thought we’d have a laugh and get other people writing with us.

Short words (written by short people)

The best bit about the GDPR is that all this has to be “concise, transparent, intelligible and easily accessible” so hold on to your hats, motherfuckers, this is going to be the shortest, clearest and best freakin’ privacy policy you ever did see.

So. Here we go…

Got it? Read it? Done it? WELL FUCKING DONE YOU! Celebrate your achievement with a gold star.

Licence this glorious hooha!

If you are coming at us from any time that isn’t 24 May 2018 you’ll have forgotten about the Great Privacy Policy Viral Extravaganza that followed the publication of what is essentially an internal rant to Team WHQ that we published for the lols.

Anyways, turns out quite a few of you want to use our words for your own Privacy Policy. This is totally cool BUT there are conditions.

You have a choice.

  1. You can pay a licence fee of £200 for the words and whack ’em on your site with appropriate tweaks and never think of us again. Email [email protected] and she’ll sort it all out for yous.
  2. You can whack ’em on your site TOTALLY FREE OF CHARGE but you must include a link back to at the top of the privacy policy where people might actually see it, and use the following words:

“With thanks to Writers’ HQ, our supreme writing commanders, glorious leaders and excellent but tiny overlords, who have verily granted us permission to use their splendid and sweary Privacy Policy.”


You HAVE to adjust the policy to work for your business. You cannot use it verbatim because it is meaningless for your business, unless your business is exactly the same as ours in which case what are you even doing get your own idea.

We CANNOT and WILL NOT and SHALL NOT guarantee this is GDPR compliant for your business. Seek legal advice on this matter for your business. WE ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR BUSINESS. Not now, not ever, not in any universe or timeline or reboot.


If you do use our words, bung us an email on [email protected] just so we can have a giggle about it too. THANKING YOU MUCHLY FINEST OF HUMANS.

Ok we’re done now.


Ok bye.

Ok bye love you.


kk bye.




Things that are actually interesting to read